my heart hurts







My friend from high school completed suicide and I am heartbroken.

I feel like I should have been able to do something to stop it.

I knew she was in trouble. I knew it was bad.

Since I didn’t know her baseline of bad, but kind of assumed it, I thought she was gonna come out of it. She has been through a lot of bad.

She said she wasn’t suicidal and she kept talking like she was worried about her kids.

She was still using future tense and talking about things like she might do in the future.

She was one freaking class away from graduating with her bachelor’s degree which was going to be such a big deal.

She was funny and bright and kind.

She had a huge personality that lit up a room.

I know she had plenty of demons. Plenty of trauma. She didn’t try to hide any of that.

She used that to help other people.

Now she’s gone.

Image from Pexels.

4 thoughts on “my heart hurts

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