I have no words

I mean, clearly I do or I wouldn’t be writing, but it’s very hard.

I was flying so high yesterday after days of inadequate sleep and at the same time horrifically depressed and scared that I went to the local emergency room.

I seriously probably just needed someone to come chill and talk to me, calm me down and tell me I could figure it out, but instead I got a social worker who threatened me with more intense programming that I don’t need. She also, when I determined that she wasn’t going to authorize anything, wouldn’t just sign the denial and let me go.

She literally had to quiz me on what skills I was using, like I was an idiot. if those had been working I wouldn’t have been there. It seemed sort of unnecessary.

I even used DEARMAN (it’s a DBT communication skill) on her and she kept plowing along.

I ended up laughing at her so hard and crying at the same time. It was ridiculous. And unintentional.

Her “safety” plan was for my therapist and psych to double book themselves. Which is a totally unethical practice that neither is going to do.

So yeah.

I’m frustrated.

I don’t really have a lot more to say about it. It was a not good experience.

It’s unlikely I will ever go back to the ER for psych unless police or an ambulance take me there against my will.

So whatever.

The best part is getting a call from the agency’s “care coordinators” because they can’t figure out amongst themselves what is going on.

Sigh.

I am fine.

I’ll be fine.

That will be thanks to me and a couple professional support people.

Grrr.

Image from Pexels.

One thought on “I have no words

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