It wasn’t my best day, but it wasn’t my worst.
I’m definitely struggling.
I’m having a hard time with this week’s project for school because it’s very triggering.
I don’t have to get it done this weekend, so I am thinking I am going to walk away from it for a couple of days and take a break.
I had been sort of ignoring my eating disorder issues for a couple of years. I gained a bunch of weight back, and was uncomfortable with it, but generally just accepted it.
All of this focus on weight and fatphobia has really sort of ramped everything back up in a hurry.
I am experiencing depression and anxiety as a result of it.
Actually, the anxiety is terrible and it’s feeding the depression. I’m trying to come up with ways to balance that out, but it’s very difficult.
Earlier today, I had to just take a nap to “check out” to get away from how bad I was feeling. It was the least harmful thing I could think of to do.
I need to get better at this. I need better coping skills for this.
I need some help.
Thankfully, I finally see my therapist next week. I did talk to her for three minutes today just to tell her it was an issue we needed to talk about and to confirm my appointment.
I’m sure I will get better at this, right now it’s just really hard.
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