Dietican was hard today…

I cried through half the appointment.

I realized that I got triggered not only by the stupid chair collapsing, but by my professor and his discussion last week.

I didn’t even tell one of my friends about the chair collapsing because she is so fat phobic that she wouldn’t understand. She would just blame me.

I blame me.

So yeah.

I’m supposed to add things to meals now because I’m not eating enough.

I don’t want to eat enough.

Seriously, I’d like to lose a ton of weight. Quickly if possible.

I don’t know how to do it slowly and reasonably. I don’t know that my body knows how to do it slowly and reasonably either.

So yeah.

Just frustrated today.

I have to do so many things today. I have to take my kitty to the vet and even though it is just a well visit, I’m scared they will find something wrong.

I don’t want to take her.

I am just having a freak out day.

And I have class tonight.

Ugh.

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