I’m probably irrational, but…

I have an ultrasound tomorrow to check a cyst on my ovary.

I’m trying to be reasonable about it. I mean, it’s likely not serious, but it could be.

It’s probably not cancer. It’s probably not a huge deal. I’m kind of worried I am going to need surgery though, and that would screw up my fall plans.

I don’t know.

I’ve been stuffing down this fear for the most part, only admitting it here and to a couple people who are very close to me and also not close to my mom.

I can’t talk about it with my mom. Her mom passed from ovarian cancer.

I started googling, which is a rabbit hole I shouldn’t have gone down. I mean, I guess it helped in a way because I figured out I probably don’t have cancer. Which is good!

I’m just freaked out.

I live nearly constantly anxious anyway.

I’m worried about my stability lately as all I’m doing is sleeping. I think part of that has been this over my head.

Hopefully, by Tuesday I have some idea of what is going on.

Just praying I guess.

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