Too worried to sleep

I’m so worried that my grandpa isn’t going to make it through tonight, and at the same time, I hope that God takes him Home soon.

He has suffered long enough and he is just laying there unresponsive, not eating, not drinking, not responding to any stimuli at all.

He’s just… there.

It’s terrible.

I just can’t sleep over it.

I am supposed to be at the hospice house at 8 am and it’s almost 3 am now.

Yay me.

I took my meds. I’m tired. I just can’t sleep.

It totally sucks.

Whatever.

I am just full of anxiety and general distress.

I dunno. I will be glad when this whole thing is over… that’s probably terrible to say, but he’s suffering and and not really with us anymore anyway.

Then, because he’s a devout Catholic, there’s the viewing and the mass and the burial.

So much.

My family is already fighting. Can’t wait for those events.

I’ll survive them because I have to.

I just don’t love it.