It seems like everyone I know is on the strugglebus lately.
I mean, I have been for a month and a half and I am just starting to see the light at the end of that tunnel.
One of my very best friends went inpatient last week and is finally doing well enough to come home. I am still worried about her, of course, especially because those first few days out can be so sketchy, but she sounds much better.
Another super close friend is experiencing some wicked psychosis and paranoia. I don’t wish that on anyone. I have had that happen a couple of times and the delusions that come with that have lingered for years for me. It’s hard to know what really was true and what was just in my head.
I think that’s the worst part of psychosis honestly.
I once was convinced I heard someone breaking into a window of our house and the latch was opened and the window was pushed out. I didn’t open it. The latch could have failed. I could have pushed against it. A zillion things could have happened. Someone might have tried. I saw things around the window that I thought “proved” it to be true. I kept hearing knocking after that. I refused to stay in the house until alarms were put in the windows.
I still don’t know what happened. I was super sick leading up to that. I was convinced I might be followed to the hotel I was going to, so I doubled back three or four times.
That episode resulted in my only involuntary hold. I was not okay.
The point is, paranoia/psychosis is tough. Depression alone is tough.
I don’t know what it is about spring, but it is making people have a really hard time.
How is it for you?
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