Oh my goodness…

Holy crap.

I went digging in old posts today. I’ve never done that before.

I cannot believe that my providers put up with me.

I feel embarrassed and ashamed mostly knowing what I put them through, but I am also incredibly grateful for the ones who stuck by me.

I had to stop after a while because it was overwhelming really. I had blocked so much of that time out.

I mean, I lived through that. Holy hell.

It bothers me what I must be like now. How must I appear? Am I still lacking that much insight? Am I still that terrible?!

It almost feels like a different person, except I remember feeling those things. I remember the feelings were more intense, but more superficial if that makes any sense. How do I explain that? Everything was at the surface.

God I hope I’m more authentic now. I try all the time to be real. Sigh.

Image from Pexels.

2 thoughts on “Oh my goodness…

    1. Thank you for the words of encouragement. I think you are genuine and a lovely person. I’m sure your team loves you. ❤️


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