Struggling to pretend

I just feel like I’m doing the whole “faking it” thing with everyone.

Just the surface is all people are getting.

I HATE doing that.

I don’t know how else to be.

No one wants to be around a sad mopey person. If I’ve learned anything in my life, I’ve learned that. Better to “surface” people than dump all over them. For real.

My oldest friend has just started talking to me again and I don’t dare do anything but “surface” her. I don’t feel like she can handle more.

Another friend who I’ve been friends with for almost as long is going through some stuff of her own and cannot emotionally handle another mess right now.

The ladies at church are sweet. I’m probably not giving some of them enough credit, but I feel like most of them would run screaming if I told them about my stuff.

So… yeah.

Just sit with it I guess.

I’m tired and I’m toast.

I guess it is time for sleep.

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