What a relief…

Wow. So I talked to my mom this morning about how I’ve been in bed for days. I don’t want to take classes this semester. I just don’t.

Last semester sucked so hard and taking classes online, when everything else is virtual, is not for me. I used to like it, but now it totally blows.

I am so grateful my mom is being supportive. I think she’s disappointed, but she’s not pushing me and she’s letting me do my thing, so that’s good. I need more time I guess.

I was scared, but I also was not ready. I mean, I wasn’t as much scared of the content as I was of not doing well, but I just don’t think I had the right mindset.

The chemistry teacher emailed us this terrible email that was all, “this is not a cake course just because it’s online.” As if we had any other choice for school right now… and the psychology book was written for eighth graders I think. The section on bipolar disorder is so trite it’s offensive.

I don’t know. I just am mad at stuff and don’t want to do it. I know when I’m in this place, bad things happen. I need to work with my therapist on this place so I can get past it before I try to attack anything.

Also, I really want classes to be freaking in person. Like… ugh. I will wait for the stupid fall.

Anyway, that’s where I am this morning. At least I can breathe.

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