Rewinding.

I have been doing DBT therapy now for like a month and a half maybe? Maybe two months. Not sure.

Anyway, it’s caused me to replay a lot of things and decide whether I really know these skills or not that they teach in skills group.

It turns out, I totally do. I mean, I could use help applying them from time to time, but that’s more of an individual therapy thing.

Four, even three years ago, I did not have all of these skills. I literally did not know them and I hadn’t really learned how to apply them. I think I got a lot of them from my CBT therapist, (who was also a DBT therapist), and I think I also have learned them over time in the hospital and just by surviving things.

My therapist is going to meet with her team and see if we can switch me to just outpatient therapy without the skills classes because I am dying of boredom and feeling trapped in them. For now, until she meets with her team, it’s good practice for those distress tolerance skills, but I don’t really want to do that for another 10 or 11 months.

I’m trying to make this work. I am. I want to learn. I want to grow. I just also don’t want to waste my time.

I hate being in “classes” where the content in the book is read to me. It’s like going to a college class on the first day and having the prof read the syllabus to you. I never understood that…

Anyway, I digress. Hopefully, there’s a mutually beneficial solution for this and I can learn more from this therapy. That’s what I’m hoping at least.

Image from Pexels.

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