Six.

I’ve been averaging about six hours of sleep a night lately. No matter what I do, I wake up so freaking early. I can’t sleep in for the life of me and even when I want to, I can’t nap. It’s so frustrating. I am someone that really needs a solid nine hours on a … Continue reading Six.

Fighting.

It’s 9 am here and I’m fighting off these feelings of, “I can’t do this.” I’ve been struggling with them all week. I know I have to face my schoolwork today. There is no other option and yet I am just absolutely useless. I HAVE to do it. If I can’t, I have to drop … Continue reading Fighting.

Quagmire.

No, not the weird guy from Family Guy. I’m talking about the swamp; as in I’m stuck there. I didn’t do homework today. That means that tomorrow is going to be me working at a dead run. I just can’t today. Hopefully the panic of the deadline will help motivate me tomorrow. If not, I … Continue reading Quagmire.

Nap?

I went shopping this afternoon and spent way too much money on stupid stuff. I mean, things I needed, (and one thing I didn’t really need, but wanted). It was a good distraction from how I was feeling this morning, which was kind of panicky and just gross from that review of my mental health … Continue reading Nap?

History.

For that intake yesterday, I had to go over my mental health history. I’m kind of having some flashbacks now of some not so pleasant stuff from my adolescent years after talking about it. It’s usually stuff I try to ignore or suppress, so it SUPER sucks that it’s back on the forefront. I’m really … Continue reading History.

Time.

I got extra time for the homework in my one class. That helped take the pressure off this weekend. I just have one class to work on today and then tomorrow I can start on that other one. I’m still worried about getting them done, but I am not panicked about it anymore. I meet … Continue reading Time.

Intake.

So... I did the DBT intake. Surprise surprise I don’t meet the criteria for borderline. I dunno. They told me I still would benefit from it and I could still do it. I’m a little bummed that the “class” part is virtual because I wanted the structure of going somewhere, but whatever. They said I … Continue reading Intake.

Built.

Today is my DBT intake. I start tearing down all of the walls that I have carefully built over time about why I won’t do it or why I think it’s stupid. I actually am counting on the fact that so many people think it will help me, some of whom I’ve literally trusted with … Continue reading Built.