I kind of don’t want to make a big deal of this, but then I don’t want to ignore the experience either.
I don’t know.
So here’s the thing; I’ve heard voices in my life less than a handful of times. Every time except for this past time, I was manic and not doing well.
They always have come in the form of someone familiar’s voice and what I “hear” is usually like “outside” of me in the room or car or whatever. It’s usually just a snippet of a sentence that doesn’t make a ton of sense. Just a voice and it’s gone, like I was “tuned in” to that person from far away for just a second and then it cuts out.
This past weekend though, things were a little different. I “heard” a whisper in a voice I didn’t recognize and it was a “command voice” inside of my head.
I won’t lie that it fully freaked me out. No worries, I told the crisis team and they aren’t rushing me in to see my psych or anything. I think it was an isolated incident related to extreme anxiety.
Anxiety can cause psychosis, something I just learned, so I guess that could be an explanation. I was legitimately in the middle of a panic attack. I just don’t like that it happened.
So whatever. This is an uncomfortable post. At the same time, I always try to be as real as I can be here.
This is as real as it gets.
Photo of a terrible game by me.