Grieving.

I already posted about this today, but I’m fighting feelings of grief.

Today was the last official meeting with my case manager, (even though I will see her through this pandemic situation virtually until we can properly “close” in person).

It seems silly really that what is now really an arbitrary date is bugging me so much.

It just is.

She officially transferred all of my stuff over to the office that is handling my stuff now, and I am no longer “hers.” That means she isn’t “mine” either.

Somewhere in my heart I kind of know that’s a load of baloney because she will always be there for me.

It still sucks.

I’m just really struggling with this. I want to say it isn’t a big deal, but I’ve been detached and emotionless for most of the day because of it.

I spent almost the entirety of the day in bed, (except for showering and eating dinner), but I didn’t sleep and I didn’t really rest. I don’t even know exactly what I did to be honest. I wasn’t really very present.

Yet, I know I have bloomed as a person. I know I have. There are things to celebrate in the grief. Right now I’m just having a hard time with the celebration part.

Image from Pexels.

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