I’m realizing that while I feel like emotional and physical crap right now, it’s not as bad as it could be.

I think it’s because I have some new umbrellas to help me deal with some of this.

First, I’m not automatically assuming that this is a depressive episode. It could be. It doesn’t have to be though. It very likely could be me just being run down from the illness and the steroids. Really that and all of the stuff I’m juggling at the moment that’s contributing to my feelings of being overwhelmed.

Second, I’m not allowing this to spiral into the drain. I’m fighting tooth and nail to find positive outlets and things I can do. Today I made a silly picture of an umbrella. I also played some video games. I might fire up my laptop and play more games, or I might read, or I might take a nap. Trust that I will find something else to do.

Third, I reached out to natural support people. I didn’t used to do that. I used to always bug my professional supports when I was feeling out of sorts. I’m doing better at trusting people in my life with my bad days.

Fourth, I just have better skills. I don’t have a bad day and immediately decide it’s over. I used to. I’m much better at tolerating distress. I guess that’s the biggest achievement of all. There are just going to be crappy days and I just have to learn to accept them. Not every day is sunshine.

So I’m having a not so good day. It’s okay though. I have my umbrella.

Original art by me.

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