Fired

I’m “firing” my therapist today.

That sounds really harsh. I actually like her as a person so it feels kind of gross.

I don’t feel guilty about doing the best thing for me, but I do kind of worry about hurting her feelings. I don’t know if that makes sense.

I just think she is not the best fit for me anymore. She’s helped me a ton and I’m super grateful, but I’m not at a place in my life where what she wants to do is very helpful.

I need to write this out before I see her so that I have clarity to my thoughts.

I am struggling with what to say.

I feel like the singular approach that we are using right now is just not working. I know she’s sold on it, but it isn’t my thing. She’s admitted that the warm and fuzzy validation stuff isn’t her strength and that is what I need right now to get me through what I’m going through at the moment. I don’t know that I want to point her weaknesses out to her, but I am hoping that she can recognize them herself because I’m going to say that’s what I need and see what she says.

I don’t think she can do what I need. I don’t think she thinks what I need is a valuable form of therapy since it’s not purely “evidence based therapy” with statistics and graphs to back it up.

Maybe I’m mind reading. I don’t know.

I’m hoping she will just let me go without a lot of drama. I think she is going to be angry. She’s really professional though, so I’m thinking it will be okay. I’m hoping it will be.

I really hate the whole office that she’s at and that’s kind of a side issue with seeing her. I would have kept putting up with it if the therapy was helping, but ineffective therapy plus crappy experiences in the lobby sort of make me want to run. To be honest, the last few times we have had to deal with lobby issues at the outset of my appointment taking up valuable therapeutic time because things were so out of control.

I just want a therapist who can deal with me. I don’t really need “approaches” thrown in my face. I hate that. I don’t mind different skills being taught or worked on, but it just feels like right now, it’s more about the RO-DBT than it is about me.

I don’t know. I’m just scared and anxious. I don’t know how this is going to go. It could be okay or it could be really bad.

Image from Pexels.

4 thoughts on “Fired

  1. Important to do what’s right for you, Kim, and let the therapist work out any issues she may have (most in the biz have either professional supervision or support groups they are involved with). And giving her feedback that her “one trick pony” approach is too limiting is good, in my opinion.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Steph. She took it well and even offered to help me find another therapist, so it was okay. She didn’t seem upset with me, so I’m grateful.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Glad it went well. Most of us know when something is no longer working well or the “fit” isn’t right, and are okay (and sometimes relieved) when the change occurs. Our ego sometimes gets stung when the fit isn’t right, but with experience, we learn its one of those things. Size 7 shoes never fit me, either, and its not the fault of either my feet or the shoes.

        Liked by 1 person

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