I am learning to separate the things that are happening in my life from my mood.
That is to say, I’m not bogged down and completely devastated emotionally by everything happening around me. I will admit to very high anxiety levels as I haven’t successfully gotten to the point where I can manage all areas of my emotions, but I’m doing better.
I am, of course, still horrified that my friend has cancer. I am horrified that I am watching her struggle. It does make me appropriately sad. It’s not spiraling me into depression however, and that’s the difference.
I have providers who are concerned that I am not taking care of my needs enough, and I’m not sure exactly how to do that. I mean, there are some things I haven’t taken care of that need to get done, but at the same time, I don’t feel unfulfilled.
It’s definitely a juggling act, but it’s so worth it. My friend will beat this and I will be stronger too.
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