When things are hard…

It still feels like I'm Humpty Dumpty where I'm not sure how all of the pieces are going to be put back together again, but I'm starting to get a little distance from last week and gain some perspective. I do feel shattered, but I know and trust that I have providers that will help …

Settling

I'm trying to "settle in" with the stuff that's going on in my life. It's that acceptance thing. It's not like I have another choice. I am just really uncomfortable. If I can accept where I am and just live with it, I will not be so miserable. That's how this works. I just don't …

Goals: 10/29/18

I am so overwhelmed. I guess my goals today involve things like cleaning the kitchen and running a couple of errands. I still need to track down a provider today. Not sure what's going on with that, but it's Monday so I'm sure she will get back with me. I am just gonna have to …

When does this end?

I know I normally have one-word titles, but this is a legitimate question. Do "normal" (neurotypical) people walk around feeling this way? Do they feel this Technicolor range of emotions too? If so, how are they managing to stay "normies" while the rest of us landed labels? I'm so over feeling this badly. I can't …

Returning?

I've been processing a lot of things for the past few days. To be honest, I feel like a total failure. I can't seem to find my feet and I am completely overwhelmed by all that is happening around me. I don't think I'm ready to go back to school full time. I don't even …

Baking!!

Well, I couldn't make the apple cake, but there was enough sugar to make chocolate chip cookies. Honestly, they are less stressful anyway, and I can snack on the batter, (with my luck I'll get salmonella, but that's not the point). I needed an activity and this will keep me occupied for the next hour …

Goals Update: 10/28/18

No apple cake today. It turns out there is not enough sugar in the house to make it, and I'm not getting dressed to leave the house on this rainy day to go get some. It's been a low-key kind of Sunday to be honest. I've just either been in bed, stuffing my face, or …

Traumas

Here I am circa somewhere around 1983. It was before life got really complicated. I don't remember a lot of my parents' fights from back then, and we went on a lot of cool vacations. Things sort of went downhill from here. I idealize my childhood when my parents were still together, but the reality …

Goals: 10/28/18

Today is a low-key chill out day. Again. I'm still not really doing very well. Lots of crying. If I manage it, I really want to take those apples and make that apple cake before the apples go bad. That's kind of it. I don't have any other plans for the day. Maybe I'll get …

Shower!

Well, I managed to actually shower tonight. I have been really struggling to do that lately. My case manager says that she noticed that I have a harder time doing that in the fall/winter months, but I also think it's related to the depression stuff that I've been experiencing. I just think it's a combination. …