This is my childhood teddy bear. He’s probably absorbed more tears throughout my life than I care to think about.
I use several things for comfort, but one of the most distressing things I use is food.
When I am stressed out and deeply unsettled, I will seek out comforting foods in order to try to stuff down my feelings. I will literally eat until I am sick because the change in physical sensation distracts from the emotional distress.
It’s not a healthy habit, and it’s how I got up to 300 lbs, but it’s something that I do.
I can see myself restarting this behavior as things become increasingly out of my control and I am increasingly distressed. It’s either eat everything or eat nothing.
There is no middle ground.
I don’t know how to find a balance and I am just kind of over trying. There are so many areas I need to work on, I’m just overwhelmed by them all.
I feel so incredibly broken. I don’t know how to fix this or anything else in my life.
I just need help.
Photo by me.