Comfort

This is my childhood teddy bear. He’s probably absorbed more tears throughout my life than I care to think about.

I use several things for comfort, but one of the most distressing things I use is food.

When I am stressed out and deeply unsettled, I will seek out comforting foods in order to try to stuff down my feelings. I will literally eat until I am sick because the change in physical sensation distracts from the emotional distress.

It’s not a healthy habit, and it’s how I got up to 300 lbs, but it’s something that I do.

I can see myself restarting this behavior as things become increasingly out of my control and I am increasingly distressed. It’s either eat everything or eat nothing.

There is no middle ground.

I don’t know how to find a balance and I am just kind of over trying. There are so many areas I need to work on, I’m just overwhelmed by them all.

I feel so incredibly broken. I don’t know how to fix this or anything else in my life.

I just need help.

Photo by me.

11 thoughts on “Comfort

  1. Hope you are ok. Normaly when I get overwhelmed I make a list. List of thing I need to do. Solves half of my problem. And then sometimes do some very small task it could be totally worthless but does give me sense of achievement.
    Feel free to talk if you want you can drop a msg too.
    I had a stuffed dog like that.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Same here sis. Trust me. Wish there was one thing I could do. When nothing else I go for self care. Pamper my skin (I am obsessed with coconut oil) or just any little thing only for yourself that makes you feel nice.

        Another thing is I start decluttering. Any easy portion of home or wardrobe. Clears my head and diverts from that helpless feeling

        Liked by 2 people

  2. I turned to food as a comfort after my dad died when I was 12. Within a couple years I went from really thin to probably technically obese. I was fortunate that when I turned 15/16 and started working I lost the weight and have been able to keep it off since and stay at a pretty stable weight. I have always feared gaining the weight back though.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. ❀ ❀ ❀ Got anything utterly inappropriate you can laugh at? For me it's videos of cats messing around and experiencing minor misfortune, or videos of huskies trying (unsuccessfully) to talk to their humans.

    Liked by 1 person

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