I realize I am angry with my therapist.
I don’t do anger well. It’s not something I know how to handle and it’s not really an emotion that I deal with effectively.
It’s especially difficult for me to be angry with someone who is a support person. That is terrifying and unsettling and takes my legs out from underneath me kind of all at once.
I’m working really hard at trying to just not be angry, because that seems like the simplest solution, but the fear and terror tied to the bottom of it are not really letting go.
It’s just not as simple as it all sounds and I am sitting here sobbing because I just can’t seem to regulate this.
I am uncomfortable. To the extreme. I feel emotionally, (but not physically), unsafe because part of my support team is… unsound at the moment. She isn’t, but that feeling is there and so emotionally I just don’t feel safe and supported. I know that is not the job of my therapist all of the time. I get it.
I just feel like I’m on a trapeze with one arm and no net.
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