This depression is horrific. They all are.
It feels as if I’m like Peter Pan except I’m trying to find my missing soul instead of my shadow.
My body feels like someone is slowly bending and breaking my bones from the inside.
The pain that wells up in waves ts is unimaginable. The only thing I can do with it is cry and let it pass.
It comes in waves. Sometimes I can manage just fine, and others I am swept off of my feet into a world of pain.
In some ways I’m very lucky it’s not a constant. I don’t think I could withstand it. In others, the ever increasing frequency and intensity of the waves wears me down and exhausts me.
I went from hardly sleeping, to sleeping better, to sleeping almost the entire day yesterday. I’ve been out of bed today for exactly 15 minutes, only to find myself back in it again, exhausted.
I hate this. A full depressive relapse was not something I was willing to admit was happening to me. It totally is and I am not handling it well at all.
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