Current

I know a lot of my posts have been Forlorn lately, and it’s in large part because I’ve been struggling with a lot of guilt due to depression and anxiety.

I know it seems sort of strange to feel guilty for feeling depressed. It’s a normal part of Bipolar Disorder. It’s just something that is going to happen. I suffer from anxiety. It’s part of my life.

Why feel guilty?

I feel guilt because of the time and energy people have put into me. The effort my friends and family make to “cheer me up,” the Herculean effort my providers have made to help me in my recovery, all of the work I have put in myself. It feels like I am failing everyone, including myself.

It’s hard to deal with because I know it’s not rational. I know that I shouldn’t have these thoughts or feel this way, I am just having a hard time turning them around.

It’s something I’m working on.

Older original art by me.