Elders

My grandparents, save for one, all lived to a very old Age. All three of them made it well past 85 and had their health until the last couple of years of their lives. Most people would say that is something to aspire to.

Most people.

If you asked me today, in the midst of yet another depressive downturn, I’d tell you that I have no desire to live into my 80’s. What would I do with myself? Life until not-even-forty has felt like an unending battle. Why would I want to double that?

No one reading this should take this to mean that I am suicidal in any way. I’m here for the duration. I’m just also not thrilled about the prospect of some super long life span.

Depression is hard to explain I guess to those who don’t understand. Bipolar Disorder is equally so. I am tired. So tired. Physically and mentally.

Maybe if I can just sleep for a week I will feel better…

Image from public domain photos

8 thoughts on “Elders

  1. Half-way between where you’re at and where your Grands ended up, I can hear EXACTLY what you’re sayin. Sometimes, when I think about the end (and esp when I think about living well into the 80s, when I KNOW I would be nearly as independent as I’d want to be, I think, “Yeah, it’s been a pretty good run.” Not that I don’t want to wake up tomorrow, but…

    Liked by 1 person

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