Cousins

When I was young, my parents did a lot of shift work, and so I spent most of my Saturday mornings at my aunt’s house with two of my cousins.

We watched Saturday morning cartoons, and never failed to see Underdog, Woody Woodpecker, and Looney Toons.

My cousin back then and I were inseparable. We planned to be in each other’s weddings, raise each other’s kids and never be apart.

It’s funny how life turns things on your head.

Her family moved several states away when I was 9 years old, the same time that my parents divorced, further breaking my heart. My mom flew me to visit her every year and it was always a highlight of my summer to spend a couple of weeks down south with my cousin.

As we have grown older, she has not been good about staying in touch and our relationship is truly non-existent. It’s very sad. I have, at various times in our lives, dropped everything to make the ten hour drive to be by her side when her life was falling apart. I wasn’t in either of her weddings and I haven’t really been a part of her daughter’s life. I hate that.

Another cousin who lived far away when I was young, but visited me in the summers, is now the closest thing to a sister I will ever know. I was in her wedding and I am involved with her little girls. She lives very close now and I am blessed to have her in my life.

It’s amazing how life changes and how things get rearranged for you in just the right way. The cousin that moved away is incredibly critic and would never have understood my living with Bipolar Disorder. The cousin that lives here now is the furthest thing from someone who buys into stigma and is supportive and kind.

I’m not very good at trust. I often don’t trust that God will take care of me or help me in the ways that I need Him, but it’s things like this that remind me that He always has a plan. Sometimes they are bigger than I can see and take longer to come to fruition than I could ever imagine, but He is always there.

Picture from Wikipedia

4 thoughts on “Cousins

  1. There’s always a relationship where we pulling most of the weight. It’s disheartening. It hardly takes any effort to reach out, but seems like it’s always us chasing after them. And then we stop because you can only take being spat in the face so many times. But once ties are severed, we’re left wondering what if, and even feeling guilty somehow. Good post.

    Liked by 1 person

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