Disassociating

I’ve been “checking out” of things again. I don’t really go anywhere else in my head or anything, things just go blank. It’s a survival skill when I’m overwhelmed or freaked out. 

To be completely honest, I didn’t really realize how much I do it until today when I got called out on it. 

I know I’ve been disconnected some though because blogging has become somewhat challenging. I’m finding it harder to talk about myself and what it going on. I feel blunted and blocked somehow. Just… blank. 

Not empty. That implies that there is a “nothing.” I don’t feel empty. 

I feel everything. 

It’s sort of how all colors of light mixed together make white light. That’s how I feel. I’m so overwhelmed I am just frozen and there is so much that it’s white. 

I’m stuck in that white light like a deer in headlights.

Maybe none of this makes sense. I don’t know. Like I said, I am kind of disconnected.
Old art by me. 

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2 thoughts on “Disassociating

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