Things

I was so lost and confused as a teen, I didn’t even realize how good I had it when I was there. It was the middle of the 90’s and frankly, many things were confusing for me at that point. If I could go back in time to talk to myself at 16, I would have a lot of things to say. 

I’d tell myself that I was part of the Popular kids, but that I just didn’t see it because the popular kids hazed each other worse than they bullied the other kids. 

I’d tell myself that I was right to drop out of high school when I did, but that I should have listened to my mom a little more closely about what she thought too. 

I’d tell myself to listen to the doctors and ask as many questions as possible about that bipolar diagnosis. I might suggest that it will come up again later. 

I would tell myself not to be so scared of the future of some things that I lose track of the present. 

I’d also tell her the trite things like spending more time with grandparents and appreciating freedom more. Things I wouldn’t have heard at 16 even from my older self. 

I don’t really have any serious regrets in my life. I have a lot of “what ifs?” in my life, and a couple minor “man I wish I woulda’s,” but nothing overly serious. 

All of my life has been determined by the decisions I’ve made, and while I’m not 100% thrilled with where my life is, I’m not all that unhappy with who I am. 

2 thoughts on “Things

  1. All of those things have made you who you are today. I like who you are. I really liked looking at the picture you posted. The Furby was the scariest thing from that era. Gwen’s still spoke even after we took the batteries out. We threw it away!!

    Liked by 1 person

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