I don’t understand how, no matter which space I live in, I have zero privacy. I literally just convinced my mom, after 37 years of barging straight in, that a knock was not an announcement of her presence but rather a request to enter. Within the last couple of months.
I cannot have a space that these people don’t feel entitled to clean or organize or have cleaned by someone. “Part of the deal of you living here is that you keep your room clean.” By clean they mean 5 star hotel clean on a weekly basis. Looking like no one lives here kind of clean. If my mom thinks I forgot to take out the trash (I never forget), she will come into my room to get it herself. Without asking or checking with me.
Today I REALLY needed a fucking restful day. Instead, because it is the day that their maid comes, I have to deal with this person coming into my room to vacuum and change my sheets etc even though it doesn’t need vacuuming and the sheets are fine. Really. Because my stepdad decided it was not okay after my mother said it was fine if I took care of those things in the morning. I’m an adult. I can vacuum and change sheets.
Instead, the assumption was that I “would have something come up tomorrow morning” and not get them done. Really? Like I am still being punished for how I was at 16. 16 year old me would do that. 37 year old me has every single obligation on a calendar. Not likely I “forget” anything. It’s also not likely that I don’t take care of the promise I make to my parents. Really. Mostly because I am terrified of them.
My mother gets mad at me because I don’t trust her. Really? She doesn’t trust me. Why would I trust her? It’s a two way street.
Feeling a little trapped and extra vulnerable from exhaustion and I think I might be dealing with PMS on top of everything. Just a little raw and on edge today.