I have been living the life of the living dead for so long that the only way to describe it is that I have been functionally a zombie.
I let this other being Inhabit me. She looked like me and sort of took care of the things in my life that needed taking care of, but she wasn’t living.
She marked time.
I was the one haunting this zombie, hiding in the corner of its mind, waiting for my moment to take over and bring it into the light.
I’ve shed the rags and trappings of death and blood is coursing through my veins. The sun is shining on my face and I have hope again.
I say all of this like it was all a choice. Like I woke up and said, “oh, I will be done with bipolar depression today.” Don’t let me or anyone fool you. This is a product of a lot of work, the right medication combination, and the right support people. I couldn’t have done this without any of those things.
It’s just nice see light again instead of only hearing the terrifying sounds in the dark.