Only

I am an only child. I think that has impacted me in several ways, but rarely in the ways people think. My early childhood was not really as Solitary as people seem to expect it might have been. 

My Father was a child a heart and was a continual presence in my life until I was nine or ten. He would play marathon games of monopoly, or take me out to see the stars at night. 

We had children in our little area of houses surrounding the corn fields (I hesitate to call it a “neighborhood)” and those kids were my friends. We played, rain-or-shine, every day. The neighbors had great bon-fires in the summer and we had a pool and it was great fun. 

I also had many cousins that lived short distances away. One of those cousins was like a sister to me as a child. 

I was impacted though in spite of the avalibality of playmates. I still don’t share as well as my peers I don’t think. I am uncomfortable loaning things of value to other people. I’m much more likely to just give someone something than to share or loan it. 

I don’t like to be part of groups. This is probably part of the sharing thing as well, but I really hate group projects and sharing time with group members. I am fiercely individually motivated unless I can truly see the value in coming together as a group to complete a project. Putting on a show or participating in a choir for example, are things you need a group for and I see value in that. Fake contrived groups just to have a group in school for example, have always been difficult for me. 

If I am in a group, I want to lead it. I will take on that role often without even realizing it. I can be bossy and obnoxious or very efficient and organized depending on who you ask and if our personalities mesh. If I can’t lead, I generally lose interest. 

Everyone is my friend. I talk to people in grocery store check out lines, waiting at auto repair places etc. I make new friends everywhere and I’m never afraid to talk to anyone. I don’t mind this so much but sometimes I am a bit too much for people. 

I also talk to myself. I’ve done this since I started talking. I keep lists and organize things in my head this way. It helps keep me focused. I have been known to sing to myself as well. It’s just a thing. You know you are an only child when you can play board games with yourself. 

Ultimately, I don’t mind being an only. Sometimes I wish I had siblings to help navigate some of the things with my parents, but then my whole life would have been different. I’m okay with how it is. 

9 thoughts on “Only

  1. I think it would be interesting to be an only child. They seem to grow up fast and take things seriously. You sound like a ‘first child’ too….I guess firsts and only’s have some things in common. Bossy, take control kinda things. Glad you’re ok with it because ya can’t change it 🙂 But I get what you mean about navigating with a sibling.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t think you missed anything by being an only – I come from a family of eight, have trouble sharing, try to take over the leadership role, like doing stuff on my own. My childhood was too crowded with others.
    there must be a middle ground somewhere … maybe.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol. That is a huge family! I don’t mind being an only. I think about when my parents are gone sometimes and what that will look like, but I have friends and cousins and I can build family from that.

      Liked by 1 person

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